Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
