I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
