i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
