he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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