You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
