You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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