a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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