yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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