My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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