I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
