I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
