Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
