Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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