Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
