I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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