i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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