I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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