wake up i wanna do it froggy style
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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