I wannas sexs uuuuu
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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