sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
