They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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