Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
