Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
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I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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