i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
