No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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