Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize