haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
