I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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