is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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