so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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