If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
