i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
