thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He kissed a someone with a penis
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
