Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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