Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
