i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
True strength comes from lack of pants
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am mentally ready for anal.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
