I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
