can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
