well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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