and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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