apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
