I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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