i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
People in love make me want to vomit
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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