eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
