haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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