Fine. I'll sleep in my office
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize