I'm really into asian looking animals
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize