Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Shame - the story of my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
