Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
