Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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