I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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