hotel room ftw
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
