spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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