Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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