You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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