Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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