I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
